Pregnant!

WE'RE PREGNANT!

On Monday we found out that we are, in fact, having a baby! I took two home tests Monday afternoon and discovered that, despite our best efforts otherwise, we will be parents by the end of the year. We are both absolutely ecstatic about it!
Since Brandon was at work, I had some time to figure out how I was going to break this life changing news. I headed to Target and picked up an "I love Daddy" onesie and a card. Then I wrapped it up in a box with the pregnancy tests. He had no idea, because, as I mentioned, this wasn't planned. We've been on the pill since we got married, and I am very faithful about taking my pills every day. Apparently we are in the 2% of people that get pregnant when on the pill. We weren't planning on having babies for a couple years still, but if there is one thing I've learned in my life it's that plans seldom work out the way they are supposed to. When God wants something for you, He makes sure you get it. We are VERY excited about this change of plans!

(Here's the part that you have all been emailing me about that has made the week such a HUGE rollercoaster of emotions! Thank you SO much for your concerns/thoughts/prayers this week!)

When Brandon got home (an hour late!) from work, I greeted him and then told him I got him something and gave him the box. He opened it and did a double take, looked at me and said, "Is this for real?" He was completely shocked! He had no idea I was late or that I suspected we might be pregnant or anything! It was such a special moment for us! :)

Anyway, we decided to go to an urgent care clinic to get the tests confirmed, which they immediately were. The doctor started poking and prodding and was concerned that I was having some pain on my lower right side. She was afraid that the pregnancy was ectopic and immediately sent us to the ER to get an ultrasound and make sure everything was okay. She suspected 5-6 weeks along based on the date of my last period, and I guess ectopic pregnancies are really dangerous around that time because they can cause the tubes to burst. Anyway, we didn't want to take any chances, so we went to the ER and went through the worst experience of our lives.

We were there ~3 1/2 hours -- they did bloodwork, started an IV, did an ultrasound, poked and prodded, took a urine sample, etc. All of this ends with the doctor (with terrible bedside manner) coming in and saying, "You're hardly pregnant. You probably miscarried. Get your hormone levels checked in 2 days to confirm it." End of conversation. What? Are you kidding? 9 hours prior I was out of my mind with excitement and 5 hours prior I was sharing the news with my husband ... and now we're being told that we've miscarried without any explanations or sympathy. He didn't offer to answer questions or anything. It was awful. I burst into tears the minute he left and just sat there. I felt absolutely ridiculous to have been so upset over something we just found out about AND that we weren't planning. But it killed me. I had gotten to attached already -- you know how they say a woman becomes a mother the minute she finds out she's pregnant? That is beyond true for me. All afternoon I was thinking about what I could do to make sure the baby was going to be okay.

So we left the hospital and came home ~12:30am Tuesday morning. I had to be to work in 6 hours for the first day back after spring break. We came home and cried together, and Brandon was absolutely wonderful to me. He is such an amazing husband and this whole ordeal has totally reaffirmed that for me! I really couldn't have asked for anyone else to be by my side during the last week (or the last 6 years of my life!).

Tuesday was awful. I went to school and I'm pretty sure we got very little done. I managed to pretty much avoid EVERYONE for the entire day, which included spending lunchtime in my car driving around. Brandon had to go to work, and it's hard for us to talk during the day because I'm not really in front of my computer that much. When the day was over, I left. I wasn't there more than 10 minutes. I didn't clean up or get anything out. I just couldn't. It was hard enough to have to function when all I wanted to do was lay down and cry. Of course, when I got in the car Superchick was playing in my CD player and the second song to play was "Stand in the Rain". Here are a few of the lyrics:

She never slows down.
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

Needless to say, I bawled the entire drive home.

When I got home, I put on sweatpants and crawled into bed and slept right up until Brandon got home. Again, I have to reitterate that I am beyond blessed to have such an incredible husband who does everything he can to make sure that I am cared for, even if he is falling apart as well. There are no words to express the feelings we felt on Tuesday, but I am so grateful that he was there to hold me as I cried.

Wednesday morning I woke up and knew right away that I wouldn't be able to handle another day at school. I wrote sub plans and requested a sub. Melody took care of getting my room ready for the day and for that, I am grateful. Although I've always known that I am beyond blessed with the number of true, close friends I have ... this week really showed me just how amazing the people in my life are. To all of you who called and wrote ... thank you. Even if I didn't get back to you, thank you. It is so appreciated.

I spent the morning in bed and the afternoon trying to figure out what to do. Brandon, bless his heart, spent about an hour and a half on the phone for me. I needed to get my hCG levels checked, per the ER doc, but my gynecologist wouldn't do it because she's not an OB. We didn't want to go back to the ER because it's such an expensive visit (especially just for bloodwork!), so he called the urgent care clinic to see if that doctor would do it. They said that since they didn't order the bloodwork, they didn't want to follow up with it. So then he called the ER -- they said Dr. Sweeny (the one we hated) wouldn't write an Rx to the lab to have the bloodwork done unless we came back to the ER. So we were totally in a bind. Brandon then proceeded to call about 20 OB offices trying to find someone who could see me either Wednesday afternoon or Thursday. He found one who could see me Thursday after school and he has turned out to be one of the best doctors I've ever met in my life.

On Wednesday, I also started doing some of the pregnancy math -- ovulation, missed periods, conception, etc. While doing so, I realized that none of the numbers added up exactly. I didn't know the exact date of my period, just that it was in the first two weeks of March (at the ER they were using March 1). However, I am pretty sure I know when the baby was conceived, more or less. Using that date I was able to determine that I ovulated late in my cycle instead of the normal halfway point, and was thus able to determine that I was probably only ~4 weeks along instead of 6-7 weeks, which makes a HUGE difference! Never before has 3 weeks made such a difference in my life! Anyway, I realized that if that WAS the case, I was fine. Everything I read said hCG levels of 100 at 4 weeks is great and that 4 weeks is way too early to see anything on an ultrasound. So I didn't quite know what to think.

Anyway, Thursday I went to school and then went to the doctor that afternoon. When we were talking and I was telling him everything from the week and the different dates, he told me that he was really sorry for the loops I had been put through and that he thought I was probably only 4 weeks pregnant. He said that it didn't even SOUND like I was having a miscarriage because I wasn't bleeding at all (not even spotting) and I wasn't having terrible shooting pains. He said that any cramping I was feeling was probably just my uterus expanding and that it sounded like I was on my way to a healthy pregnancy. He ordered the bloodwork and told me that I would hear the next day for sure. This of course, left me really excited even though I was trying NOT to get my hopes up .. just in case. However, I was starting to feel more pregnant and by Friday I was 99% sure that the numbers would come back higher than before. My appetite has surged, my boobs have been hurting, etc. Something was definitely different.

So then Friday ... went to school and had a decent day. All day, though, we were both just thinking about this phone call I was supposed to get at 4:30. When 4:30 came and went, I called the office only to find out that they were CLOSED FOR THE WEEKEND! Ah! This frustrated us both because even though we were pretty sure there was going to be good news, we were tired of waiting and just wanted to know for sure. Around midnight I checked my voicemails and had one from my OB! He was calling to let me know that my hCG numbers were up to 396 (nearly quadrupaling in 2 1/2 days) and that I should call to schedule an appoitment in a couple weeks to get started with my visits! l;ajkfd;lakfjoaiwfjlk

YAY!

What a week we had!
But in the end, it looks like we are expecting Baby Trask in December, although to be safe ... it is good to know that he/she will probably arrive early (runs in the family). Either way, we are VERY, VERY excited to be parents and are looking forward to the next 9 months of pregnancy before bringing a child into the world.

Thanks again for all your love and support-- you guys rock.
xo