Brandon and I have been talking about having a second baby, which is something we haven't told anyone yet. That means this is a post that won't actually become a post for a while. But because this is my family journal, it does not mean this post will not exist.
We are thinking about pulling the goalie, so to speak, in October. That is not very far away. We haven't decided for sure yet - we both still have our owns worries about adding another child to our mix. His are mainly around time and money. Mine are whether or not I will be able to love two children with the same wholeheartedness that I love our lovely little one right now. Every time I say it, it sounds really ridiculous, but I am honestly afraid that baby number two won't get as much love as Aspen, and that Aspen won't continue to be loved as much as she is. I just don't know how my heart could hold anymore love. That being said, prior to giving birth to Aspen, I had no concept of how full my heart could be, so I recognize the fact that my fear is irrational.
Brandon's worries are completely rational though, so we are trying to prepare. We know how expensive babies are, and having a second one will make our bills that much tighter, so we need to do a lot of number crunching before deciding one way or the other. We want to make sure we are bringing this baby into a good financial situation.
The thought of another baby in our home, albeit scary, is also incredibly exciting. Aspen is a continual source of love and joy in our home, and has done our family a lot of good. Being able to double that would be a tremendous blessing ... not to mention the fact that there is something wonderfully miraculous about two people creating a life and being able to bring that life into the world.
So we will see. We have only been talking for a week or two, so we are under no pressure to decide and know that there is no rush. We need to make sure we are making the right decision for our family, our marriage, and our finances. I guess only time will tell!
We are thinking about pulling the goalie, so to speak, in October. That is not very far away. We haven't decided for sure yet - we both still have our owns worries about adding another child to our mix. His are mainly around time and money. Mine are whether or not I will be able to love two children with the same wholeheartedness that I love our lovely little one right now. Every time I say it, it sounds really ridiculous, but I am honestly afraid that baby number two won't get as much love as Aspen, and that Aspen won't continue to be loved as much as she is. I just don't know how my heart could hold anymore love. That being said, prior to giving birth to Aspen, I had no concept of how full my heart could be, so I recognize the fact that my fear is irrational.
Brandon's worries are completely rational though, so we are trying to prepare. We know how expensive babies are, and having a second one will make our bills that much tighter, so we need to do a lot of number crunching before deciding one way or the other. We want to make sure we are bringing this baby into a good financial situation.
The thought of another baby in our home, albeit scary, is also incredibly exciting. Aspen is a continual source of love and joy in our home, and has done our family a lot of good. Being able to double that would be a tremendous blessing ... not to mention the fact that there is something wonderfully miraculous about two people creating a life and being able to bring that life into the world.
So we will see. We have only been talking for a week or two, so we are under no pressure to decide and know that there is no rush. We need to make sure we are making the right decision for our family, our marriage, and our finances. I guess only time will tell!
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