Scared.

I woke up this morning to find that I was bleeding bright red blood. Anyone who knows anything about pregnancy knows that bright red blood is not a good thing and is often a sign of an impending miscarriage. I crawled back in bed and called the doctor at the urging of my wonderful husband. Thankfully my mom had already offered to take care of Aspen for the morning so we could sleep in again, so we didn't have to worry about her.

Thank heavens for 24 hour nurse advice lines. While I don't generally care much for doctors, I love having access to 24 hour medical advice when I'm pregnant. The nurse I spoke with said that since it had been 45 minutes since I noticed the blood, but only had a little bit of blood on the pad I had put on, I shouldn't worry too much. Also, since I wasn't having any cramping at all, it may be nothing. She gave me some reassurance and some directions on what to look out for/call back for, and told me to put my feet up for the day and wait for a call from the OB nurse tomorrow. She said they will probably want to see me this week, but to let them know if any of the other symptoms come up so that I can be seen ASAP (including today if it had been necessary).

So now we wait. I've had some very light cramping, which I know from my pregnancy with Aspen is completely normal because my uterus is growing a human. What is not normal is the fact that I am still bleeding. My only reprieve is that I haven't even soaked one pad today. Unfortunately, the blood is still bright red. At this point, I am hoping for the best, but preparing myself for the worst. I am absolutely terrified that I am losing this baby and hate knowing there isn't a single thing I can do about it. I'm trying my hardest not to think too much about it since we are just waiting, but man, it's hard not to. Thankfully I have an incredibly loving and supportive husband who is my rock, even though I know this is hard for him as well. He told me that he's a little bit mad at life and wishes we could just have a normal pregnancy for a change. I completely agree. While my pregnancy with Aspen was easy once it got started, it started out pretty rocky because of my wonky cycle and doctors who weren't willing to do much more than diagnose a miscarriage. This time, it's started off weird because of my weird cycle, but was going fine. I knew what to anticipate with my weird cycle and I was right on track. I had a couple instances of brown spotting, which I wasn't worried about, and now this.

Sigh.

Just waiting. And praying. And hoping for the best.
We'll see what happens.